You know that amazing, high and giddy feeling when life is finally going according to what you wished, willed and worked for it to go? Yeah, I’m riding that wave right now.
A year ago I didn’t, or better put, I could not imagine that life would follow the path I wanted and that I had worked for. I was going through one of my roughest, darkest patches ever after receiving a letter of rejection from my dream university, essentially shattering a dream that I had had for six or seven years. These past two years, since finishing high school, have been a state of limbo – I’ve felt as though I’ve been suspended in time and life and as though nothing has moved. I’ve felt caught up in something foreign, something uncomfortable. Well, except when I finished middle school and high school and during other chosen periods during my life. So what has changed? What has made me so happy, so joyful that I wake up smiling and looking forward to everything? Well, everything. And nothing.
Put shortly: I’ve received an invitation to study abroad at a respected university to study a subject that I love, adore and want to create a career in. I’ve applied for financial support to cover my tuition fees. I’m getting my first loan. I just found out that I have a rental apartment to live in (Together with some roommates). My childhood home is being cleared out and put up for sale. My teenage years are well and truly over and I’m becoming a grown-up.
Life is moving. Not inching centimetre by centimetre but by leaps and bounds. And you know what?
It’s pretty damn sweet.
I’ve learnt so many things, of how the world works, how I live and who I am and how I think. I’ve come to appreciate time spent sitting still and I’ve come to learn the importance of just being, being in a place, being in time and being a person. I’ve come to understand things as well. I’ve grown to be comfortable in places unknown to me, to feel at home when home is somewhere else. That, in my mind is pretty sweet.
It’s pretty damn frightening.
But the truth is that I’m used to that already because I’m come to see the fact that living away from your family does not weaken the bonds that you share and the love that you have for each other. In fact, those bonds and that love only grows stronger. And the other things with growing older and moving to a foreign country – yes, it’s going to be demanding and at times it’s going to be incredibly stressful but I know that I’ll handle it. And that this is a journey. A journey that I’ve waited for a long, long time.
It’s pretty damn awesome.
Because I see things going forward, moving out of limbo. That, in my mind is awesome.
And it’s pretty damn exciting.
Because how could it not be?